SELF-LOVE IN THE FUCKS OF LIFE
FUN OR FUCKSVILLE? JUST ACCEPT IT DUDE & GIVE YOU SOME SELF-LOVE
The beach is my happy place. I love the stillness that coexists with the aliveness & wildness. The water is healing, the sand therapeutic. Plus it’s pretty to look at.
Not surprising my mini’s love the beach too. They’ve always had it right there next to them. We can go there anytime & whenever we even think of the beach they claw at us to go for a play.
It’s usually so much fun.
But also can be totally fucked.
There are times when we go & everything is just fun. We’re all chilled, we all laugh, we are all loving each other & have the best fun ever!
Other times it’s completely fucked.
Even when the water is deliciously aqua & the sun perfectly warm & the sand has just the right feel & we have all that we need… it’s fucked.
The kids lose their shit about EVERYTHING.
The sand is too sandy
The water is too cold / wild / still / loud / quiet / wet
The sun is too sunny
There is not enough sun
There are no shells to collect
There are too many shells to play with
The sand makes the wrong sand castles
We want to go in for a swim & they don’t
They want to go in but we don’t
Sand gets in EVERYTHING, even the snacks & they CANNOT be just dusted off, they are completely RUINED & we have to leave now before they die of starvation
aaaaaannd so on…
When life at the beach is just fucked mama.
Like on the weekend, we went to one the prettiest beaches in the morning when the sun was crazy beautiful & we had a picnic breakfast in the perfectly warm sun with our favourite fruits & had all the time to just chill… no time constraints with other things we HAD to do. On paper, the most awesome time to be had.
But it was completely fucked.
There were 15 million melt downs, about god knows what… as soon as one meltdown calmed down the next person would have one… yup me included 🙋🏼 although mine was a meltdown about everyone else having meltdowns when I tried so fucking hard to make sure we would all have fun!
I prepared everything, I sorted out what everyone would need & want, worked it in to when it would work for everyone, had it all schmick & polished & easy & just awesome & it still was completely fucked!
Coz it was forced.
I tried to force the fun.
Instead of thinking oh hey let’s just go to the beach, no massive plans or expected outcome just go with the flow…
It was planned to the bullshit. So it was bullshit. Every detail. All the “this is what we should have, do, feel”. And it all fell apart because there was attachment to the outcome coz we worked hard to make it perfect fun.
Your mini’s are so fucking clued in it’s not fun(ny).
They don’t even know it. But they FEEL it. They act up when shit ain’t feelin’ right & they don’t even know why they’re acting up because they can’t articulate that feeling of forced bull shit.
Life is full of FUN & FUCKEDNESS. You just have to accept it & all the planning & strategy for fun ain’t gonna make it feel fun.
Do what you do the way you do best & let it be just right. If you have fun just living in the moment, planning it to be perfect next time won’t make it funner.
I also had the wrong vibe going on.
As I was planning our perfect beach breakfast family fun date, I was forcing it to be fun.
I was thinking “this is going to be fun” but not in a light hearted excited way, but through a gritted teeth, I have a gun to my head kinda way because I NEEDED fun.
I needed the fun because I was feeling like shit. I wanted to force the fun to make me feel better. When the only person or thing that would get me outta my fucked funk is me & my choice to feel differently.
To look at my beliefs & readjust them. To choose to live in the flow of life & accept what was really going on…
Resistance to the work, my biz work, my life work, even forgoing sleep to work coz I thought I needed to push through. Doubting myself as an artist, as a creator, as a wife, as a mama. Resisting in my growth & expansion & into living my next level dream life.
Resisting the fun of the flow & trusting to let go & know it is all perfect. It’s always perfect.
So fuck it. Fucked fun is just going to happen & that’s ok. When it is all going wrong & not the way I planned, it is fucking perfect.
So this is me saying Fuck it, I’m out. Have your way with me universe, throw all the inconveniences, bad timing, hard work at me & I’ll check back in when the fun party is back in town.
It is all good in the hood, homie.
It’s just the wildness, bumpiness, fuckedness before the super awesome funess.
The only way to get the full throttle FUN is to let go & go with the flow through the FUCKED.
It’s never as life threatening as it might seem. It’s just in your head, YOU build it up in your mind on how fucked it is, then when you think about it more it’s even MORE fucked again.
It’s a fast growing ball of fucks, collecting more fucks as it gains momentum.
You get that “yup of course, when it rains it fucking pours doesn’t it?!” talk in your brain.
But when you turn that talk around to “meh, whatev’s… the shit show will pass so why even bother… I’m going to hang out over here, doing my own thing that feels good for me right now dude, which is…” then fill in the blank & do it.
I could be binge watching The O.C. (mmm Cohen), it could be reading your favourite book… again, it could be baking a million cakes, it could be as easy as just going the fuck to bed (I think that’s the one I’ll be picking thanks!)
Who cares who you think you might piss off or let down or whatever, it’s already fucked right now & the best thing you can do to get outta fucksville is to take care of you.
Just think that the more you let go & go with the flow & not let it grind to you, the sooner it will pass & the less stressful it will all feel.
So cheers lovely, here’s to self-love in the fucks of life.
With love & gratitude,
x Paula x
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